We live in a time where if your child has behavioural issues, you will likely be told that your child has underlying issues, or even worse, an underlying condition. It’s also a fact that Attachment Disorders, ADD/ADHD, and Oppositional Defiance Disorder are all hugely over-diagnosed. Misdiagnosing can easily lead to the wrong treatment being given, such as medication, lengthy, costly and ineffective therapies, or what every parent must dread, “your child needs counselling”. Misdiagnoses can then become excuses for your child’s behaviour, allowing the behaviour to continue and even get worse.
Whatever happened to children just being naughty? Why has that become so unpopular? Oh yes, I know why, we’re not allowed to blame a child for their behaviour any more – it can never be the child’s fault, it must be someone or something else to blame. Welcome to the mamby pamby politically correct school of child behaviour.
I happen to believe, after twenty plus years of studying child behaviour, that children’s bad behaviour stems from the child simply being overly selfish. Mind you, this doesn’t only apply to children – it’s equally the case for teenagers and adults. We all behave badly when we are only thinking of ourselves. And while this is quite normal, too much of it becomes a bad thing. Hands up who knows an adult who is overly selfish! We all need to learn that selfishness doesn’t go well, and it doesn’t get you far in life. Some of us need more help with learning this than others!
Parent’s also tend to blame themselves for their child’s behaviour, and other’s are often very quick to blame the parent! Rarely do I find diagnoses helpful, and in fact, they can often make things worse. The focus needs to be on what can be done about the behaivour, so the child doesn’t grow up being one of those adults. Let’s stop making excuses for bad behaviour and just deal with it, for everyone’s sake.
You can also listen to my Child Behaviour Podcast, follow the link https://permissiontoparent.com.au/blog-podcast/